I'll Keep Your Memory Vague
by AnimeniacAnonymous
Summary: When Hinata confesses, he knew what the answer would be. But he knew what he needed to do.


Hey all, here's the second story in my 2016 ITunes Fanfic Challenge. Enjoy. ~AA

I'll Keep Your Memory Vague

"I love you Kageyama!" Hinata stared right at the other boy as he confessed on the last day of their freshman year. The setter's face was just as he had pictured it would be: a mix of shock and confusion for a moment, before it was replaced with an apologetic look.

"Hinata…" Kageyama began, "Thank you but, I'm sorry-"

"You don't feel the same about me." the spike interrupted him. "I kind of figured."

Now the raven haired boy looked a bit irritated as well as confused. "If you already knew, then why'd you bother confessing, idiot Hinata." The last part was said with a lot less venom than normal, as though he was feeling bad for saying it in light of the information that had come to light.

Hinata looked at him with that intense look he sometimes got while getting really into volleyball, the one that never failed to send shivers down the spine of its target. "Because I didn't want to hide anything from you." That look faded and a small smile replaced it. "I wanted to tell you, but nothing has to change because of it right?"

"Hinata…" Kageyama looked a bit pained.

"Because I would never forgive myself if this confession ruined our friendship or messed with our freak-combo." The redhead hurried to add.

"Well, I don't mind but," the setter looked intently at his partner, "will you be okay?"

"Ah." Hinata replied. "I'll be fine. In fact, you don't even have to remember this conversation if you want. I don't expect anything to change, but I wanted to let you know. And now that you do, I can feel better and we can get back to what we already have."

"If you're sure…" Kageyama replied, still looking worried and a bit reluctant.

The spiker nodded quickly. "I am. I promise; by the time practice starts up again in a couple weeks, things will be all back to normal okay? It will be like nothing has changed because, well, it hasn't." He smiled a huge smile that looked sincere enough to Kageyama's not so discerning eye.

"All right, then I guess I'll see you in a couple of weeks. Don't forget on work on your receiving during that time idiot."

"Yeah, yeah, whatever you say Bakeyama." Hinata replied, maintaining his smile as he waved goodbye to his partner and began the long bike ride home. As he traveled, the smile vanished and the tears began. They streamed down his face fast enough to practically blind him, but still he pedaled. He needed to get home, because he needed to get rid of all of this grief and heartache before summer training started.

For two weeks, Hinata cried and moped and did everything he could to bottle up all the pain he felt because of Kageyama's rejection. He had known of course, that the other only saw him as a very good friend, that he held no romantic interest towards him at all. But he hadn't wanted to hide such an important part of himself hidden from his very best friend. At the same time, he didn't want Kageyama to feel guilty about not being able to return his feelings. So he resolved to let nothing change: he would treat the setter the way he always had and would let that conversation fade into memory.

The first thing Hinata did when he saw Kageyama upon his return to practice was challenge him to a race to the gym. The other had accepted quickly enough, though he still looked a little pained upon seeing him. It sent a twinge of guilt through Hinata, but he pushed it aside reminding himself of his resolve to let nothing change. For a while, things were a little strained but eventually things settled down again. They raced and competed and ragged on each other. And whenever the spiker felt that little niggling of love begin to emerge again, he would remind himself of what his setter had told him that day. And he would remember that look of guilt that he hated seeing on the other's face.

In order to keep Kageyama from feeling those awful emotions, Hinata acted as though he had never confessed in the first place and would remind himself of what the other had said so that he never felt compelled to force his feelings on the other again. Once was enough.

 _Two Years Later_

They had finally done it: they had won the Interhigh Volleyball Tournament. Karasuno was back on top. And the ones celebrating the hardest were the freak duo. They were leaping up and down and hugging each other; practically crying all over each other. Seeing the happiest face he had even seen on Kageyama's face made Hinata feel as though his heart would burst.

"We did it Idiot Hinata!"

"Like there was any other result we would accept, right Bakeyama?"

"Of course." He replied haughtily, though the effect was ruined by the absolute joy on his face. The spiker felt his smile gentle. His love for the setter had not faded in the last two years. If anything, it may have grown because, despite keeping things the same between the two of them, Hinata still found more and more things to love about the other. He had considered so many times just distancing himself from the dark-eyed boy, but every time the thought of Kageyama's sad face had stopped him. And the pride and happiness on that handsome face made up for all of the suffering anyway: so he told himself.

Something about his mood must have caught the other's attention since the smile faded from his face for a moment. Hinata worried about the expression: it looked as though the setter was trying to remember something that may or may not be important. He held his breath, ready for whatever came out of the taller boy's mouth. When Kageyama shrugged and allowed the grin to reappear, Hinata felt both elated and defeated. He had succeeded in his goal of letting nothing change between the two of them, but he had also succeeded in guaranteeing that the other would never see him in the way he wanted to be seen.

Through all of this, his smile had never faded. And, when Kageyama ruffled his red hair, at ease and relaxed, Hinata laughed, hiding the sound of his heart shattering.


End file.
